Emergency meeting: the last slice
At 07:12, the last slice called an emergency meeting. The agenda contained one item: why does everyone leave the crust and then look surprised when there is no bread?
The butter sent apologies. The jam arrived with a spoon and no plan. Someone suggested turning the crust into breadcrumbs, which the crust described as “a disappointing career pivot”.
The meeting was adjourned when somebody made toast. Minutes were not taken. Crumbs were.
Toast develops trust issues
A slice of toast has requested clearer instructions after being told it would be “just a quick breakfast” and then receiving avocado, two eggs, chilli, seeds and a full photo shoot.
“I used to be bread,” it said. “Now I’m holding up an entire lifestyle.”
The plate declined to comment. It was already late for work.
Local uncle appointed braaibroodjie inspector
A self-appointed inspector has announced that every braaibroodjie must be sampled before serving, purely in the public interest.
His inspection method involves taking half, nodding thoughtfully, and asking whether there are any more with extra cheese. When challenged about his qualifications, he pointed to the tongs and said, “I’ve been here since the fire started.”
An independent review found that the inspector was, in fact, just hungry.
The Brood table
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